Three years down, one more to go

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Junior year is almost over. I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy for a year to finally be over. Did junior year meet my expectations? No way. I walked into junior year thinking I’d do better than sophomore year and maybe get my first 4.0 but that didn’t happen. Instead, I’m walking out of junior year barely passing my classes. I stressed out so much this year it was more than unhealthy. I wish I could say a few good things about my junior year, but I really can’t. Almost everything that I didn’t want to happen, happened. But, I did get closer to my friends and learned a few things about life and school that I will need next year. There was too much going on for me, at home and at school, that I just couldn’t handle it. I was dealing with so much this year that it reflected in my grades and made me feel worse. I’m expecting senior year to be better, I don’t think that will be too hard. I’mexcited to go into senior year and leave high school and experience new things. Anyways, I liked having you as a teacher. Sometimes though, there was more work than I expected. I usually don’t do that much stuff in my english classes, it was almost like a shock. One thing that I really didn’t like was having to talk in front of the class; I feel like there were a lot of projects and activities where we had to work in groups and talk in front of class. It was hard for me because I work on my own best and I am not a fan of speaking in front of a class. But, near the end of the year it got easier for me to speak in front of class. I feel like the best thing for your future teachings would be to not be too rough or hard on the students, which is how it felt in class sometimes.

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Loneliness

Loneliness is a sad and dangerous thing. Continue reading

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Spring Break

IMG_2606 Over my spring break, I took a trip to Los Angeles with my friend on the train. We were about two minutes late for our first train so we had to wait an hour at the train station for another train which was more expensive. We were heading to L.A. I actually go to L.A. a lot and I love it. There’s so many things to do and it’s honestly such a great place to visit. I feel more at home in LA than I do where I actually live; I just love big cities. Once we got to Union Station, which is massive, we crossed the street to Alvera street. We waited for our Uber there but meanwhile we walked around and looked at all of the stuff to buy. With LA traffic, getting to the Getty was almost a forty minute Uber ride to get there from Union Station. I love museums and LA has a ton of them. LACMA was my favorite, but after going to the Getty, I have a new favorite. The Getty is absolutely beautiful and theres so much to see there, it’s a very big place and theres lots of stairs so two hours into the visit my legs were so tired. At the Getty, there’s a lot of famous artists such as impressionists painters Van Gogh, Monet, Edgar Degas and many more. There was also a whole floor full of furniture and it felt like you were in a palace. There’s something about art that I really love, it’s just really peaceful looking at all of the art, it is almost like an escape. It was great because I really needed a break from stressful school and I got to go to another city and visit a museum and feel so relaxed. I almost forgot about what I was stressing over. Besides the art, they have beautiful gardens which I couldn’t visit because it was raining, as well as an amazing view. Since the Getty sits on top of a hill, you literally can see all of LA, even the coast. IMG_2662 The Getty is free for admission, which is great. But go on a full stomach because it was $15 for a burrito (which was actually really good) and a can of coke. I recommend going to the Getty if you really like art and a great view of LA, and since it’s free to get in, everyone should visit at least once in their life.

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Unrealistic Expectations For Women

   In western society, there is a big emphasis on female body image and how women should look. Its quite exhausting honestly. There’s too many standards to keep up with and some are just way too unrealistic. Women are only humans and can’t have be perfectly sculpted bodies, even though most of us would like to. You’re ridiculed for every single thing. Don’t have curves? Sorry men wont like you because ¨real men love curves¨. You have curves? Sorry that’s too many curves, try a flatter stomach. Short? That’s cute. Too tall? You’re supposed to be in the NBA (According to many twitter accounts) The unrealistic body expectations leave most girls confused about how they feel about their body or how they look. Leaving most girls with many self-esteem issues only to be constently perpetuated by media and the people around us. This leads to eating disorders which are extremely bad for ones body and even excessively working out, they may even develop depression and other things. Not only do females have to worry about their body image, but there are lots of expectations for beauty as well. Always stay groomed, if you dont shave everyday, you’re unhygenic. Dont wear too much makeup because you’re just lying to everyone…. stay natural… but those pimples are gross. Its as if everything women have to do has to make us always seem like pretty garden fairies who smell like roses.  Continue reading

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Stress of High School

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        It’s the second semester of junior year and I don’t think I have ever felt so drained in my entire life. I remember being a young, ambitious, and excited eigth grader picking out my freshman classes. I was so excited to get out of middle school and finally be in high school. I had big plans for being so ambitious; I guess I still am but not as much as I used to be. Now, I’m registering for senior classes and it’s quite bittersweet; It’s sad, but not really (you really think I’m gonna miss sitting in useless classes for six hours almost everyday?) . I went from wanting to take every AP class under the sun to wanting to just pass each class and graduate. School has been so overwhelming lately and I just don’t know how to deal with it anymore. I’m completely fed up with every single thing about high school and I’m already counting down to graduation. I feel like if someone tells me “relax and enjoy your high school years” or something along those lines one more time, I will throw a brick at them. How am I suppose to relax when I have the pressure and competiton of getting good grades and going to some pricey university after high school and get good sleep and keep up with friends while staying sane? I honestly don’t think it’s possible. I’m almost shocked by how overwhelming everything is where I can’t get myself to do one math problem anymore. There’s too many expectations and I can’t keep up. It’s like teachers have some sort of blockers on where they don’t notice how kids have other classes and stuff to deal with outside of high school. Learning how to do Logarithms are the least of my concerns and at this point, I could care less about graphing. The only classes I truly enjoy are psych and chemistry. Yeah, chem. Mostly because I find it the most relevant out of all of my classes, now I know how to use the metric system quite well, unlike most Americans. I’m also sick of all of these labels in high school… why don’t we just tattoo “Honor student” “4.4” “AP Student” “2200” on our foreheads or something because that’s all that really defines us in high school anymore. Anyways, I feel like I’m Timmy Turner with all of these bad grades and that I’m just holding my breath and trying to get through everything. Just trying to get by at this point…. and I don’t care anymore. I really don’t, caring requires me to exert more energy than I already have exerted in the last three years. High school will be completely irrelvant when I’m 22, and I wish me and thousands of other students didn’t have to waste soooo much energy on high school. I hope senior year won’t be as bad as freshman, sophomore, and junior year.

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Weekend

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My grandpa just had surgery last week so over the weekend, my mom and I visit my grandparents down in Capistrano. It was the day of the Superbowl so everyone was glued to the tv for most of the time. I was pretty bored since I’m not really into football at all but at least it was something for me to watch and keep my mind off of school. My grandpa was pretty loud as usual. Even after getting sinus surgery he was still able to run his mouth and be obnoxious. We brought our dog with us for the visit. His name is Jack and he loves going to my grandparents. Maybe it’s because most of the time we are there, my aunt is there with her dog. Or maybe because its a bigger place than where we live and he can run around more and go outside and play in dirt instead of a patio. Jack was with me on the couch as I scrolled through twitter looking at all of the Superbowl posts. I couldn’t get away from the game no matter what I did. All of the sudden, I realized Jack wasn’t on the couch. In fact, he wasn’t anywhere in the house, not even under my grandparents bed. I notice that the sliding door is open. No one seemed to really pay attention to where Jack was. My mom was in the kitchen, my grandma was playing her crossword puzzle and my grandpa was zoning out as he watched the Seahawks make a touchdown. I get up out of my seat quickly and go outside. Jack wasn’t on the porch.. I step down and go to the back of the house. Jack wasn’t in the garden either. Great. I thought. Jack got out and he escaped. He had no collar on either so all I could hope was that he was nearby. I get my shoes on and run outside to see if he was down the street. I was worried because straight down from my grandparents house is an extremely busy highway that even motorcyclists love to ride down; All I could think of was Jack out in the middle of the street as cars zoomed by. Then, I hear a bark. It wasn’t Jacks bark but I figured the dog had to be barking for a reason. I look to the right, at the neighbors porch. There Jack was, wagging his tail and panting as he stared through the neighbors screen door, trying to play with their dogs. I quietly walk up the porch and scoop up Jack into my arms. He always finds a way to escape and we always end up finding him, but I’m always afraid that one day he will get out and not be found.

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Reflecting over 2014

2014 ended a few weeks ago and I’ve never been more relieved. High school has been pretty rough for me personally. But 2014 had to be the worst year for me. My biggest struggle was school; when you have so much going on its hard to keep your head straight and focus on education. My grades plunged, to the lowest I’ve ever seen them. I got an F up to a D and I settled for that and was happy I just passed. My GPA went below a 3.0 for the first time in my life. It was all really overwhelming and I was taking some stressful courses on top of that. Friends were also becoming a problem and I didn’t know where I fit in and who were my true friends. I felt alone all year; I joked around about it but I was really hurting. I even lost several “friends”. Continue reading

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